For years I have tried to journal with little success. Partly, I lack the motivation to follow through with it. But that’s only a factor. The truth is, I don’t enjoy journaling. It makes me strangely anxious. I feel pressure to record certain things, and to hold to a specific format and tradition. I want my journal to be a continuous narrative with no gaps, which sets me up for instant failure.
Additionally, the physical object of a journal intimidates me. Where writing is concerned, I’m a perfectionist. I want each page to be flawless, and I will happily write and re-write the same paragraph for a good hour, in order to perfect the word choice and overall flow. Since there’s no backspace key in a journal, it’s not surprising that I’m never happy with the results.
Blogging has been an excellent alternative. A digital space is easier to manage than a physical journal. I have all the time I want to write and re-write before allowing a particular post to become an official entry. Furthermore, it makes sense to carefully refine my words, since the end result is shared (and often directed towards) an audience.
Of course, blogging has its own troubles. I haven’t blogged regularly in ages, and I must admit that this blog feels a bit like a disused journal. My life has changed a lot in the last year, and very little of that change has been recorded here. Where do I pick up? What do I write about now? How do I shift my blog content towards my newer self, when my blog is mostly composed of stuff I wrote last year? Helloooo, blogger’s block!
Oddly enough, I’ve found that the best way to banish a block is to write about it. So this is me, doing exactly that. It’s already helping. Does that seem strange, or does it work that way for anyone else?